Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
