How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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