I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
