I must be too annoying 4 u.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think people are normalizing furries
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
