dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
