Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
