I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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