Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
