I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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