As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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