I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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