Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
