This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
