I hate all girls vehemently.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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