Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
