Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
