Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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