i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
