so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
