I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
