before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
only if we run a train.
done.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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