Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
