I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
