How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so let's talk penis.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
