is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
