I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
