No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Don't make out with my wife yet
only if we run a train.
done.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
