Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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