Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
