I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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