Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Its about making memories worth repressing
i think i have two assholes
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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