i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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