I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
