just come out here and I will go home with you...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
