Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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