So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
