i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
