My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
