I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
