So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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