Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
