She's JV to your varsity
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
its not stalking. its research.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
