I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
