I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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