I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just blew my weed a kiss
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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