i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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