I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
