I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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