Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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