a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize